did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
