ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
