new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
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I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize