ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
