Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
