I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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