You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
