Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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