Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
