Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
