Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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