Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
