Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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