Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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