The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
