you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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