I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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