Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
