i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
