nut hugger
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
