Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize