do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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