im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize