Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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