im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
