Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
