in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
