Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
You smell like stripper and shame
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
