my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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