4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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