There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
