Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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