i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
