she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
