Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
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dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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