Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
