Is it normal to miss your booty call?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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