i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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