Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
