sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
