i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
