I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
