she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
