I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
