They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
