Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
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