i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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