I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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