Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
