I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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