What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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