so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
