In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
