Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I love you.
Bad choice
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
