you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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