I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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