I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
