He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
