its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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