shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
