Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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