I cannot find my penis.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Are my feet made of real feet?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
