I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
And then he peed in my hair
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
