Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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