Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
