I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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